PARRIS’ MIRACLE

A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE

Revelations 21:27 states, “But nothing unclean shall enter Heaven.”

Parris and I had always been kindred spirits of sorts. He was an extraordinarily intelligent free thinker and I had untreated inattentive ADHD with a vivid imagination in my youth. We were both big picture thinkers who could think outside of the box and were dreamers who could envision all sorts of possibilities. Our spiritual connection ran deep.

Parris was a cocaine user and overdosed one night in the early 1980s. It was 2:00 am when I suddenly awoke thinking my brother, Parris, was sitting on the end of my bed looking at me. The incident startled me but did not frighten me because I knew he was reaching out for help. Not knowing where he was, I reached out to my oldest brother, Charles. When I told him about the visit, he looked rather peculiar because he had received the same visit from Parris at the same time. We instinctively knew it was a cry for help and he had better resources to reach out to in order to get results. Parris recovered from that crisis and lived for many years drug free helping numerous people in different capacities throughout his life.

However, Parris’ miracle occured in January, 1999.

He had been taken to the hospital for a drug overdose once again. Only this time the doctor had actually declared him dead after doing everything they deemed they possibly could do for him in order for him to live. Parris was taken into a hallway of the hospital on a gurney waiting for an orderly to take his remains down to the morgue. It was during that time Parris had his near death experience. He had journeyed into eternity beyond the white lights and was instructed on what he had to do in order to return to his place with our Father in eternity. He suddenly made a loud gasp for air when a nurse passing by realized that Parris was still alive and the doctor resuscitated him back to life. The doctor on duty told my parents that he had never seen a person turn “that BLUE before in his entire career.”

As told to me by Parris, he was instructed to ask forgiveness of those he had wronged and forgive those who had wronged him. Then, he had to make reparations to people he had stolen or borrowed money from. Once those tasks were taken care of, he had to pray for forgiveness from our Father. Since he was under the influence of drugs and died of a heroin overdose, mother made certain that a priest gave him the last rites. He received a full Catholic mass and burial because he needed the prayers. For most of us, we need to go to Purgatory before going to Heaven because we still have some temporal punishment to pay off for our sins as “nothing unclean can enter the presence of God.” Parris died in a state of God’s Grace after fulfilling his mission.

Parris and I had a two hour telephone conversation two weeks before he died that I will never forget. We both spoke from the heart. We were told by the sheriff’s office that Parris died with his big beautiful smile shining brightly because he knew what was waiting for him on the other side. He had completed his assignments and was cleared to spend eternity with our Father as he had been instructed.

That was Parris’ miracle!

LESSONS FROM A HEROIN ADDICTED MAN

BEING HEROIN ADDICTED DID NOT DEFINE HIM AS A PERSON

PARRIS FRANCIS ARNOULT

JUNE 5, 1958 – APRIL 13, 1999

The value of a life is measured by what we contribute to society or pass on to others.

Although my brother, Parris, had all of the same advantages as the rest of the family, was highly intelligent, an incredible student, able to succeed in business, as well as help others get and stay sober, he was ultimately unable to maintain sobriety for himself. At age 40, he died of a lethal drug overdose. His poisons of choice were Cocaine and Heroin, in addition to the lethal combination Speedballs offer. Most of the people in the massive crowd at his funeral had no idea he mainlined drugs. Judging a book by its cover, he was the guy least likely to be a main-lining opiate addict.

There are 5 lessons that can be learned from Parris’ life:

  1. Parris embraced life with a joie de vivre that drew people to him.  Even introverts like myself have to be extroverted when the situation demands it. However, living each day with exuberance is a celebration of life and Parris shared his exuberance with all those who crossed his path.  He had a way of making people feel important in his company.
  2. Parris adored children and valued family.  The thing Parris despised about himself the most was the shame he carried from betraying and hurting his family.  Before he passed from this life, he asked for forgiveness and made reparations to those he hurt.  He truly understood the importance of forgiveness.
  3. Parris recognized that life is full of compromise… you have to be a giver to get anything in life.  You cannot achieve your potential by focusing on handouts from others.  You have to go out and get it yourself because anything worth having is worth working for. Parris also had a very generous heart.
  4. Parris worked diligently, making it look effortless because he worked smartly.  It’s not always necessary to reinvent the wheel.
  5. Education was paramount in Parris’ mind and he was a voracious reader. Parris recognized that an education does not end when the diploma is framed and hung on the wall.  Learning is lifelong because the world is always changing!

KNOW YOUR CORE VALUES

  • What do you care most about?
  • What have you invested the most time, energy, and emotion in?
  • What gives meaning to your life?  What gives direction and purpose to your life?

When you know the answers to these questions, you can bypass any obstacle that presents itself.  Also remember, mistakes and failures are only learning opportunities for obtaining success in the future. Prayer is powerful. Faith can remove so many obstacles in our lives and bring purpose to our being. Mark Twain once said, “The two most important days in our lives are the day we are born and the day we learn why we were born.” Parris was a TEACHER and his life has served a tremendous purpose. We loved him dearly and we miss him but we feel his presence in so many ways.

RESOURCES:

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

SAMHSA’S NATIONAL HELPLINE: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or www.samhsa.gov for FREE, CONFIDENTIAL, 24/7, 365 day-per-year treatment referral information in English and Spanish for individuals and families facing substance abuse and/or mental health disorders.

MEDLINEplus Health Information on Substance Use Disorders (National Library of Medicine, NIH)

www.medlineplus.gov Trusted health information on drug use, addiction, and mental health disorders from the National Library of Medicine

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Call 800-273-8255 or text TALK to 741741. www.afsp.org You’re not alone!

Surviving ADDiction

COPING WITH UNTREATED ADHD THROUGHOUT MY BROTHERS ADDICTION

Our minds have a way of forgetting so that our hearts can begin healing.  We sometimes set adrift in our daily lives, going through the motions, smiling with insincerity behind it in place of happiness.  The pain of witnessing the trials of someone you love, who is addicted to heroin, is almost unbearable because you know you cannot save him.  You pray for him, counsel him, and cry for him but none of it changes his life…. or your home life.

When I look back over my life, I realize that one of the most important things I have done for myself was to forgive my brother for overdosing on drugs.  He was charismatic, loving, intelligent, and was extremely handsome.  If you judged this book by its cover, he looked like the least likely guy to die from a drug overdose.  He was my hero as his younger sister.  I idolized and adored him.  Then he became someone I did not recognize, turning into someone who filled me with dread and disappointment.  Ultimately, he became overwrought with shame in spite of doing so many good things with his life and helping so many people get off of drugs.

When you forgive, you open yourself up to endless possibilities, more vast than the ocean.  Your mind becomes free to explore, to live, and to love.  Love begins in the mind before it spreads to the heart.  Addiction can numb your body to love. You have to survive addiction to find love again.  Looking to God will bring you the solace you desire.  His love for us is as vast as the sea!

SERENITY PRAYER

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, the sinful world

As it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make things right

If I surrender to His Will;

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

And supremely happy with Him

Forever and ever in the next.

Amen.

Written by Reinhold Niebuhr