Bella Musings

Beautiful thoughts for an ordinary day!

PARRIS’ MIRACLE — February 24, 2022

PARRIS’ MIRACLE

A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE

Revelations 21:27 states, “But nothing unclean shall enter Heaven.”

Parris and I had always been kindred spirits of sorts. He was an extraordinarily intelligent free thinker and I had untreated inattentive ADHD with a vivid imagination in my youth. We were both big picture thinkers who could think outside of the box and were dreamers who could envision all sorts of possibilities. Our spiritual connection ran deep.

Parris was a cocaine user and overdosed one night in the early 1980s. It was 2:00 am when I suddenly awoke thinking my brother, Parris, was sitting on the end of my bed looking at me. The incident startled me but did not frighten me because I knew he was reaching out for help. Not knowing where he was, I reached out to my oldest brother, Charles. When I told him about the visit, he looked rather peculiar because he had received the same visit from Parris at the same time. We instinctively knew it was a cry for help and he had better resources to reach out to in order to get results. Parris recovered from that crisis and lived for many years drug free helping numerous people in different capacities throughout his life.

However, Parris’ miracle occured in January, 1999.

He had been taken to the hospital for a drug overdose once again. Only this time the doctor had actually declared him dead after doing everything they deemed they possibly could do for him in order for him to live. Parris was taken into a hallway of the hospital on a gurney waiting for an orderly to take his remains down to the morgue. It was during that time Parris had his near death experience. He had journeyed into eternity beyond the white lights and was instructed on what he had to do in order to return to his place with our Father in eternity. He suddenly made a loud gasp for air when a nurse passing by realized that Parris was still alive and the doctor resuscitated him back to life. The doctor on duty told my parents that he had never seen a person turn “that BLUE before in his entire career.”

As told to me by Parris, he was instructed to ask forgiveness of those he had wronged and forgive those who had wronged him. Then, he had to make reparations to people he had stolen or borrowed money from. Once those tasks were taken care of, he had to pray for forgiveness from our Father. Since he was under the influence of drugs and died of a heroin overdose, mother made certain that a priest gave him the last rites. He received a full Catholic mass and burial because he needed the prayers. For most of us, we need to go to Purgatory before going to Heaven because we still have some temporal punishment to pay off for our sins as “nothing unclean can enter the presence of God.” Parris died in a state of God’s Grace after fulfilling his mission.

Parris and I had a two hour telephone conversation two weeks before he died that I will never forget. We both spoke from the heart. We were told by the sheriff’s office that Parris died with his big beautiful smile shining brightly because he knew what was waiting for him on the other side. He had completed his assignments and was cleared to spend eternity with our Father as he had been instructed.

That was Parris’ miracle!

LESSONS FROM A HEROIN ADDICTED MAN — February 9, 2022

LESSONS FROM A HEROIN ADDICTED MAN

BEING HEROIN ADDICTED DID NOT DEFINE HIM AS A PERSON

PARRIS FRANCIS ARNOULT

JUNE 5, 1958 – APRIL 13, 1999

The value of a life is measured by what we contribute to society or pass on to others.

Although my brother, Parris, had all of the same advantages as the rest of the family, was highly intelligent, an incredible student, able to succeed in business, as well as help others get and stay sober, he was ultimately unable to maintain sobriety for himself. At age 40, he died of a lethal drug overdose. His poisons of choice were Cocaine and Heroin, in addition to the lethal combination Speedballs offer. Most of the people in the massive crowd at his funeral had no idea he mainlined drugs. Judging a book by its cover, he was the guy least likely to be a main-lining opiate addict.

There are 5 lessons that can be learned from Parris’ life:

  1. Parris embraced life with a joie de vivre that drew people to him.  Even introverts like myself have to be extroverted when the situation demands it. However, living each day with exuberance is a celebration of life and Parris shared his exuberance with all those who crossed his path.  He had a way of making people feel important in his company.
  2. Parris adored children and valued family.  The thing Parris despised about himself the most was the shame he carried from betraying and hurting his family.  Before he passed from this life, he asked for forgiveness and made reparations to those he hurt.  He truly understood the importance of forgiveness.
  3. Parris recognized that life is full of compromise… you have to be a giver to get anything in life.  You cannot achieve your potential by focusing on handouts from others.  You have to go out and get it yourself because anything worth having is worth working for. Parris also had a very generous heart.
  4. Parris worked diligently, making it look effortless because he worked smartly.  It’s not always necessary to reinvent the wheel.
  5. Education was paramount in Parris’ mind and he was a voracious reader. Parris recognized that an education does not end when the diploma is framed and hung on the wall.  Learning is lifelong because the world is always changing!

KNOW YOUR CORE VALUES

  • What do you care most about?
  • What have you invested the most time, energy, and emotion in?
  • What gives meaning to your life?  What gives direction and purpose to your life?

When you know the answers to these questions, you can bypass any obstacle that presents itself.  Also remember, mistakes and failures are only learning opportunities for obtaining success in the future. Prayer is powerful. Faith can remove so many obstacles in our lives and bring purpose to our being. Mark Twain once said, “The two most important days in our lives are the day we are born and the day we learn why we were born.” Parris was a TEACHER and his life has served a tremendous purpose. We loved him dearly and we miss him but we feel his presence in so many ways.

RESOURCES:

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

SAMHSA’S NATIONAL HELPLINE: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or www.samhsa.gov for FREE, CONFIDENTIAL, 24/7, 365 day-per-year treatment referral information in English and Spanish for individuals and families facing substance abuse and/or mental health disorders.

MEDLINEplus Health Information on Substance Use Disorders (National Library of Medicine, NIH)

www.medlineplus.gov Trusted health information on drug use, addiction, and mental health disorders from the National Library of Medicine

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Call 800-273-8255 or text TALK to 741741. www.afsp.org You’re not alone!

WHO’S REALLY IN CONTROL? — January 24, 2022

WHO’S REALLY IN CONTROL?

ARE YOU REALLY IN CONTROL OF WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE?

When our lives seem to be most out of control and everything is completely crazy, that’s when we’re most likely to try to control everyone and everything around us in order to get some sense of normalcy in our little world. The problem is not everyone and everything else around us: we’re the problem more than likely and are the one most likely out of control. That’s the time to step back, digest the situation, problem solve where we can, and ask for God’s guidance through prayer and meditation. You cannot continue the same path expecting different results, and we do not have all of the solutions to our own problems so we must seek guidance. There is no shame in asking for help when you do not have the answers. Our Father challenges us so that we seek to become closer to Him and look to Him for answers. The Blessed Mother encourages us to reach out to our Father for help in times of need, when we are deeply troubled, when we are sick, or our lives feel completely out of control.

God has a plan for each of our lives. He gives us free will to make choices, however, when we do not make the right choices, we suffer the consequences. We’re given the choice to travel down the right path and the wrong path. When we choose the right path, our lives go well because we are following God’s call to follow His plan for our lives. The only control we have over our lives is to have self-control, the restraint of not being abusive of other people. In a society that tells you to look out for #1, we need self-control.

SELF-CONTROL

We develop and exhibit self-control to become like Jesus Christ. Self-control is in fact a high form of worship because it is living out God’s commandments and the gifts of the Holy Spirit can be seen in us. To live a full Christian life, you must be disciplined. To be undisciplined, you cannot live a productive life. Productivity and self-control are rewarded by the Lord. The decision to live a life of self-control is ours to make, and God gives each of us the power to make that decision. It is a tribute to Him.

SURVIVAL AS A SOCIETY

If we’re going to survive as a society, we have to regain self-control and become more disciplined. Our mores and boundaries have completely broken down. Our religious beliefs and our way of life are under attack. Social values have gone way outside of the box. As the rules have bent more and more, society has found them to be more and more acceptable. What have we been left with?

  • an opioid epidemic that has made orphans and fosters out of millions of children across the nation
  • left wing socialists calling for the abolishment of capitalism
  • atheists calling for the abolishment of organized religions
  • hatred and fear fueling the flames of ignorance behind divisive racist movements
  • a general lack of civility and a malaise across the nation whereby people no longer behave in a respectful manner towards one and other in public places; then believe they are within their rights to behave so disrespectfully and disgracefully without consequences
  • murder rates and violent crimes have increased dramatically in the US

We have to turn the tide on this colossal disaster by exercising more self-control and discipline by saying no to toxic behavior. In turn, we have to remove toxic influences from our lives (sometimes that includes people). Most importantly, we have to pray and meditate to ask Jesus to become more like Him.

Bella’s Journey — January 10, 2022

Bella’s Journey

In Loving Memory 4 February 2011 – 27 February 2021

BLESSED

PSALM 103: 1-5

Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all my being, bless His holy name.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits;

He pardons all your inequities,

He heals all your ills.

He redeems your life from destruction,

He crowns you with kindness and compassion,

He fills your life with good;

your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Bella was my world… 7 pounds of pure love and affection.  She was a beautiful spirit, accepting of strangers as if she had known them for a lifetime, yet she was fiercely protective of me at all times. Not only my constant companion, but my sweet Bella was also a little angel sent to introduce me to one of the most influential friendships since my father’s death in 2002.

After we have suffered losses in our lives, we often become introspective, looking inward for answers to long held questions.  With a family history of addiction, mental illness, trauma, and psychological abuse, I had many unresolved issues following the death of my father.  In many ways, my father was kind, loving, and generous.  Pops, whom I dearly love, had a gregarious personality and could be great fun to be around. However, if you did not comply with his wishes failing to do what he told you to do, he could be quite indifferent towards you to the extent of being sometimes unfeeling in his attitude and abusive with his words.  That left many scars on me personally resulting in two bouts with cancer since his death.  In 2003, I had Thyroid Cancer resulting in chronic hypothyroidism from a thyroidectomy which fortunately is a manageable situation that I can live with for many years to come.  However, in 2010, there could have been a completely different outcome to my Ovarian Cancer diagnosis.  The tumor I was carrying around grew to be 22 pounds before it was discovered that I had Ovarian Cancer after having complained of the same symptoms to my doctors for over 2 years: bloating; constipation; feeling full quickly at mealtime despite consuming very little food; lower back pain; and pressure in the pelvic area.  My OB/GYN at that time said that my ovaries were “pooping out” and my Endocrinologist saw those symptoms as vague relating to a multitude of health issues.  Ironically, my father would repeatedly say that I would not have treated my brother on drugs with “tough love” the way I did if he had had cancer and neither of them lived to see me go through cancer twice.  Today, I am blessed to say that I am over 10 years clear of Ovarian Cancer, but it was indeed a rough road at first.

The Lord blessed me by sending this little angel into my life on April 2, 2011, on the night of Mom’s 81st birthday.  Bella was an 8-week-old Yorkie weighing only 2 pounds who won our hearts over immediately. She helped me recover from chemotherapy and subsequent abdominal hernia surgery.  Bella has also assisted me to where I am today with generalized anxiety and a major depressive disorder in addition to inattentive ADHD.  Ultimately, Bella would introduce me to one of the most influential people of my life: Mr. Calvin “Cal” Moret.

Mr. Cal, as he would become affectionately known to me in a fatherly way, was a genteel Creole man who lived two doors over from us with his loving wife, Mrs. Berenice.  He frequently worked either in his woodshop on all sorts of projects or in his yard when Bella and I would go out for walks.  Bella would always find him to tell him hello and we would begin conversing.  He was a most interesting man, like a Renaissance man with a host of talents and expertise.  Mr. Cal, in his younger years during World War II, had served as a training officer for the Tuskegee Airmen, an accomplishment that had gone completely unacknowledged until his sunset years when President Obama awarded the Tuskegee Airmen the Congressional Medal of Honor in 2007.  Throughout his life, Mr. Cal perfected his woodworking skills, writing skills, and was a member of a Barbershop Quartet in addition to many select Creole social organizations.  After Katrina had decimated Moret Press, his family business, leaving him feeling much like a shell of his former self, his faith in the Lord and the recognition he received for his service in World War II ignited a new purpose in his life: delivering inspirational talks to students and young professionals on the importance of keeping the focus of God, family, morality, human dignity, and respect in their lives.  My many long conversations with Mr. Cal helped him develop the focus of his talks and he unknowingly aided me in resolving many of the issues I had with my father.  I knew deep down inside that these issues needed to be resolved or they would only continue to be burdensome to me not my father.  When we lost Mr. Cal, I continued to enjoy my friendship with his wife, Mrs. B, until her death this year.  I will always treasure my memories of Mrs. B and Mr. Cal.  Bella will forever be tied to these cherished memories.

Sadly, I had to put Bella to eternal rest on February 27, 2021, because she was going into kidney failure.  She had developed diabetes and Cushing’s Disease of the pituitary gland becoming increasingly sick.  I did not want to see her suffer any longer than she already had, but if love alone could have saved her from what she had already been through, Bella would have never suffered a day in her life.  Mrs. B went into kidney failure from hyperglycemia as well and passed into eternal rest on July 7, 2021.  My relationship with the Mr. and Mrs. Moret went full circle within 130 days of the 3,619 days Bella was such an integral part of my life.  When I lost Bella, I did not know how I was going to move forward.  It is my faith in the Lord, my devotion to the Blessed Mother, and my appreciation for all the gifts He has given me that gets me through each day with courage!  There will be no other Bella, but Bella’s journey has fortified in me that I have an enormous capacity to love and be loved. I feel Bella still watching over me!

COURAGE

DEUTERONOMY 31:6

Be brave and steadfast; have no fear or

dread of them, for it is the Lord, your God, who

marches with you; He will never fail you

or forsake you.

LAGNIAPPE: Greet each day with gratitude in your heart, a smile on your face, and kindness for others.  Live each day enthusiastically, with passion!

GROWING IN FAITHFULNESS THROUGH PRAYER & PRAYER JOURNALING — January 4, 2022

GROWING IN FAITHFULNESS THROUGH PRAYER & PRAYER JOURNALING

I read on Facebook:

DO YOU PRAY?

I love this interpretation of Prayer. What is Prayer? Prayer doesn’t only happen when we kneel or put our hands together and focus and expect things from God. Thinking positive and wishing good for others is a prayer. When you hug a friend. That’s a prayer. When you cook something to nourish family and friends. That’s a prayer. When we send off our near and dear ones and say, ‘drive safely’ or ‘be safe’. That’s a prayer. When you’re helping someone in need by giving your time and energy. That’s a prayer. When you forgive someone, that is a prayer. Prayer is a vibration. A feeling. A thought. Prayer is the voice of love, friendship, genuine relationships. Prayer is an expression of the silent being. Keep praying always…

I think this is a brilliant reminder that prayer is so much more than a solemn request for help, an expression of thanksgiving, or an expression of praise to the Lord. We are called to honor the Lord through our actions as well.

In Greek, the word “pistosmeans to be faithful, trusted, reliable, believing; to be always counted on; of a firm persuasion.

There are many synonyms for faithfulness: adherence, constancy, allegiance, dependability, fealty, duty, fidelity, loyalty, adhesion, piety, ardor, trustworthiness, truth, attachment, care, steadfastness, devotion, tried, reliable, unwavering, resolute, honest, punctual, and steady.

To be faithful is to put your faith into action

Your faith in God is the foundation of your beliefs.  Faith is an ardent belief in God and the assurance that the Lord is working in our lives, even though we have no visible proof that God truly exists.  Through our belief system, we worship Him, we praise Him, and we give Him thanks for all the blessings He has bestowed upon us.  It is through our faith that we believe that all things are possible with God.  When we live in faithfulness to our family, friends, and fellow man, that is an extension of our faithfulness to God.

Colossians 3:23-24

“Whatever you do, work at it with your whole being.  Do it for the Lord rather than for men, since you know full well you will receive an inheritance from Him as your reward.  Be slaves of Christ the Lord.”

Romans 2:6

God “will repay every man for what he has done.”

Galatians 6:9

“Let us not grow weary of doing good; if we do not relax our efforts, in due time we shall reap our harvest.”

ACTION STEPS:

  • PUT TOGETHER A PRAYER JOURNAL

Our relationship with God should not become unnecessarily complicated.  As we journal our prayers and grow in intimacy with God, we can voice our needs and wants freely and openly.  As we become aware that our prayers have been answered, we can record praise and thanks to the Lord. As we read back over our journal, we can see how God is actively working in our lives without us “seeing” His presence in our lives which is the basis of our faith.  We grow in faith and confidence that God is always listening to our prayers.

  • FOCUS ON A SAINT’S LIFE AS INSPIRATION BEFORE YOU BEGIN WRITING YOUR PRAYER JOURNAL
  • FIND A BLANK JOURNAL OR NOTEBOOK TO BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY

Write a letter to yourself on the 1st page explaining why you are embarking on this prayer journal journey.  At the end of each month, reflect on your spiritual growth and progress.  Create an ongoing prayer list whereby you continually pray for the needs of others.  You can be as creative as you want to be and personalize it in your own special way.  God created the world in a glorious multitude of colors with spectacular images so it is only proper that we praise Him in as creative fashion as we are capable of to celebrate His glory.

WHAT IS YOUR CODE OF ETHICS? —

WHAT IS YOUR CODE OF ETHICS?

WHAT IS ESSENTIAL TO YOUR BEING FOR YOUR CONSCIENCE TO BE CLEAR AND YOUR HEART TO FEEL FREE TO LOVE?

We all need a code of ethics to act as a compass to guide us through everyday life. We are given free will to choose our own path, to choose right from wrong. It is when we choose right over wrong that we achieve good things in our lives and our lives go well. God has a plan for each of our lives, and when we choose to follow His plan for our lives, right over wrong, our lives work out as they were meant to work out. However, we have much hardship, sorrow, and pain in our lives when we do not follow the path God has planned for our lives.

WHAT DO YOU CARE MOST ABOUT?

I personally care most about my Mother and my family. They are the VIPs in this world in my view. My dog, Bella, fell into this category too because we are the stewards of our pets. They become our family and are dependent upon us for everything they need for their care. God is also paramount in my life. Prayer is part of my daily life, not only the recitation of prayer but also by doing random good deeds for others and spreading joy wherever possible.

WHAT HAVE YOU INVESTED THE MOST TIME, ENERGY, AND EMOTION IN?

Beyond my family, I have invested the most time, energy, and emotion in my volunteer work. I believe that volunteerism in our community is extremely important and that more people should become invested in volunteerism. When you give your time, energy, and emotion to something that strikes a chord with your code of ethics, your guiding principles, you receive so much personal satisfaction in return.

WHAT GIVES MEANING TO YOUR LIFE?

For me personally, it is my faith that gives meaning to my life. I pray for people who do not have faith and choose evil over good. No single race of people throughout history has had a monopoly on pain and suffering. All of mankind, at one point in time or another, has been persecuted for a political or religious belief as well as the color of their skin. There has been so much evil throughout history and is among us today. I pray for protection of the faithful and urge the faithful to pray their rosary daily as our Lady of Fatima has instructed us to do through little Jacinta. According to Saint Jacinta Marto, “If man only knew what eternity is, they would do everything in their power to change their lives.”

WHAT GIVES YOU DIRECTION AND PURPOSE?

My faith and my sense of duty give my life direction and purpose. I am secure in my beliefs and am not shaken by naysayers. I have an honest, straight-forward approach to all aspects of life. If I realize I am in the wrong, I am quick to make it right and apologize for my actions. Never do I try to cover up a wrong doing… I own it, make it right, and make my apologies where they are due. Why? It is the right thing to do. We all make mistakes, and do the wrong things for the right reasons, but that does not make them right. Then, pray for forgiveness. Be the best version of yourself at all times! ####

Surviving ADDiction — May 31, 2017

Surviving ADDiction

COPING WITH UNTREATED ADHD THROUGHOUT MY BROTHERS ADDICTION

Our minds have a way of forgetting so that our hearts can begin healing.  We sometimes set adrift in our daily lives, going through the motions, smiling with insincerity behind it in place of happiness.  The pain of witnessing the trials of someone you love, who is addicted to heroin, is almost unbearable because you know you cannot save him.  You pray for him, counsel him, and cry for him but none of it changes his life…. or your home life.

When I look back over my life, I realize that one of the most important things I have done for myself was to forgive my brother for overdosing on drugs.  He was charismatic, loving, intelligent, and was extremely handsome.  If you judged this book by its cover, he looked like the least likely guy to die from a drug overdose.  He was my hero as his younger sister.  I idolized and adored him.  Then he became someone I did not recognize, turning into someone who filled me with dread and disappointment.  Ultimately, he became overwrought with shame in spite of doing so many good things with his life and helping so many people get off of drugs.

When you forgive, you open yourself up to endless possibilities, more vast than the ocean.  Your mind becomes free to explore, to live, and to love.  Love begins in the mind before it spreads to the heart.  Addiction can numb your body to love. You have to survive addiction to find love again.  Looking to God will bring you the solace you desire.  His love for us is as vast as the sea!

SERENITY PRAYER

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, the sinful world

As it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make things right

If I surrender to His Will;

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

And supremely happy with Him

Forever and ever in the next.

Amen.

Written by Reinhold Niebuhr 

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